September 17, 2020

Nobody Likes You When You’re 23

Out of the 365 days every year, I truly only look forward to two of them: New Year’s Eve and my birthday. Both days, for me, symbolize a new beginning in some way or another. And it doesn’t hurt that they give me an excuse to wear the most amount of glitter possible. (And I do wear allll the glitter.)

This time last year, I was in what you would call “below rock bottom”. If you know me personally, you know this is true. I was drained physically and emotionally, thanks to taking back-to-back antibiotics and breaking up with my then-boyfriend over email. I could barely walk, which meant no going out and celebrating turning my Taylor Swift year (22, if you don’t get the reference). But things always work out. My friends came over and sat with me on my couch. They danced in my living room and made me cry from laughter. As each friend walked out the door, I thought: “next year, we are going all out”.

Well, since last year, a global pandemic hit. The sky has had an orange haze and ashen rain for almost a month. Thank God I have friends who are down for anything. My friends threw me a party, Harry-Styles-themed of course, with my close friends. (Don’t worry, inner circle only and no one I hadn’t already been around.)

Here’s to getting better, every. damn. year. Here’s to turning 23.

Since this past April, I take regular drives on the back roads by the river. Two hours to reset and clear my head and cry to my favorite songs. It reminds me of the shady, one lane roads by my childhood home and with every ride I regain a sense of control and discovery.

On my latest ride, I caught the end of a smoky sunset and really started to take in what the last year did for me. I found a new group of amazing and hilarious friends that I have made some sweet memories with. The fellowship between my closest girl friends has grown exponentially. My photography is continuing to grow more than I would have ever thought. My friends and family are expanding their own families and bringing so much joy into the world (and my own)!

Something I’ll carry with me into 23: I’m very glad I’m not where I thought I wanted to be.